The Silly Mom

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I am such a silly mom I realized.

I was actually rejoicing over Hazel’s sweat.

Perspiring seems to be a natural thing for almost everyone. Not for Hazel though. She has not sweat out for years until recently.

One of the medicine she was taking causes this side effect. So during that period of time, I was constantly watching out her body temp. We had weaned off the medicine for quite afew months, but I heard that it take a year or so before the body actually starts to perspire.

Til last week, i was giving her a kiss on her forehead before her nap as usual, when i smell sweat and felt the dampness on her forehead.

I was so happy. Really couldn’t describe that feeling, but i was so so so excited over that sweat.

I cant stop smiling, and I started to laugh at myself.

I guess this journey of mine with Hazel gave me a very important lesson for this lifetime.

Find happiness in the smallest thing.

Never take things for granted.

Be contented.

As Hazel’s Mom

When seeing Hazel start to regress, started having fits more frequently for dunno what reasons, spasm yet not controlled, less active, more sleepy, i started to lose myself. Neuro is putting her back on prednisolone aka steriods, but i really cant bring myself to. We gave her for a week, and we stopped after seeing how her body is reacting to it. She started to sleep very long, stomach gets so bloated like a balloon, where even just a gentle touch she will start to cry. She cries for no reason, very bad tempered. She no longer climbs up and gets down from the sofa like how she used to. 

I forgot that as i am Hazel’s mom, i have no right to give up. I forgot that i always need to have that faith burning in me. Have faith and confidence in her that she will be well and this is just a rough patch. Have faith and confidence in myself that i will definitely overcome this and find a non invasive healing therapy for her.

Every fits and spasm she has, my heart bleed each time with her. Everyday with her, i look forward to seeing her smile which is also getting lesser. No matter how hard i tried to tape back my broken heart, the pieces are just too many from the daily heartache.

When you are having a special needs kid, giving up and losing yourself is no longer an available option. We can only keep picking ourselves up everytime we fall and bite our teeth to move on after every good cry. And everytime we will armor ourselves with more courage, more patience, more positivity. 

And we know we can do it. Together with hazel side by side. It is a very long process but we will be there for her for as long as we can.

Its going to be her 4th birthday soon. I hope her health will be better by then.

Oblivion

Ever since Hazel has to consume medications on a daily basis, it has become my responsibility not to add any more harmful drugs to her body. I mean, how much can her small body handle?

I remember that it hurts me so much having to rush her to KKH due to fever, or rushed to PD because of her cough or flu or even constipation. On top of her daily seizures meds, I have to add on those cough syrup, flu syrup, fever syrup or what have you. I really couldn’t bear that such a small baby has to take in so much drugs. I am worried. Worried for her liver, her kidney and all the organs!

And frankly, I have long forgotten all those drug names!

Still, Hazel has to do blood test regularly to check on her liver.

I have also forgotten when was our last visit to a PD. My fridge doesn’t have any ‘stock’ of medication, my cabinets have none too. I am proud to say my home is not a pharmacy. ZERO harmful drugs (well except the seizures meds that we are hoping we can wean her off soon). She is currently from 3 meds dropped down to 2 meds.

Coming to 4 years old this year, I am still very cautious of the drugs or environment she is exposed to.

Please do not be clueless or simply oblivious how harmful those medications can do to our body. They are not sweets that is ok to give our child once in awhile, or even once a month. And you have no idea how a sweet can affect our body as well.

Read up.

Research.

Precaution is never too early to take.

I am glad my family has taken the natural therapy path. I hope you had too.

One week. One month.

Ever since Hazel was admitted to KKH when she was just 1 year old for tube feeding due to dehydration, she hasn’t get over this trauma till now. We have been working so hard on her feeding but did not see much improvements. I am so afraid that she will fall sick and reject milk again, as milk is the only food she is taking now. I do not want to send her in to KKH for another round of tube feeding, which I will come home with a bigger problem. So, I have been very hardworking on applying eo on her, just to minimize the chance of her getting sick.

We have started on a new med beginning of Aug, and at the same time, her appetite started to drop. She was not as cooperative during feeding time. Took us much longer time to coax and feed her, then she will finish her milk. She has no signs of sickness. No cough, no runny nose, no fever, no vomiting, no diarrhea. I have no idea what is wrong with her. So I went back to the basics, and applied eo at every 20mins interval. Seems to improve for a day or two when she finished her milk without much fussing, and I thought she was recovering.

Last week was the ultimate, where she simply refused to drink any milk. The moment we placed her on the high chair, she cried. We put her on the small stool, and when 1 mouth of milk went into her mouth, she cried and struggle. However, she is willing to drink plain water. So we gave her more water, and force fed her milk, given no choice.

I called up the staff nurse at KKH and she told me to bring Hazel in. She is worried about her nutrition intake, but we already know what they will do to her and we were very reluctant to. I turned to John, which Hazel is currently seeing for healing.
( Find out what he does: Transcendental Connection )

He advised me to do just raindrop therapy once a day.

 

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Diffuse spearmint during mealtimes

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Massage her colon area as she did not poo for 1 week plus. I applied Di-gize and massage.

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Things started to improve on Monday, where her appetite started to pick up. I actually brought her to a GP on Monday and the doc asked me to KKH. He was unable to prescribe anything to Hazel because she has no signs of sickness, lunges were clear too. But we didn’t bring her to KKH afterall.

And last night she finally poo. Her appetite seems to be back to normal as today is the third day she finished her milk, but we are still monitoring. It has been a rather stressful week and tiring month, mostly due to her appetite. We are keeping our fingers crossed and hopes for the best.

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Catch up on my life

I looked at the date today and realized Hazel’s birthday is coming. Oh man, she is turning 3 this year! My little baby is growing way too fast.

As she grows older, my anxiety and fears grew stronger. I know I have to take it slow for her development, which is greatly affected by her spasm. But as a Mom, I can’t say I’m not worried at all.

She is still refusing spoon and still not willing to try any other food that is brought near to her mouth. I tried giving her a small piece of yoghurt melts and she gagged. 😦

She is able to stand independently for 3 seconds, but most of the times she simply refused to do it. I have no idea how to motivate her as she is not interested with toys, biscuits or sweets. Her understanding level, sad to say, is really very very low. She doesn’t understand lotsa stuff, thus whatever we tried telling her or motivate her, our words are in vain.

I wished I could have done more for her. I really wished I did. Having too much things going on in my life is not a good thing.

Finally she is off Vigabatrin, currently increasing the dosage for Topamax. Not much improvement on her spasm, and probably we may need to add on a new med. Neurologist actually told us that her treatment options are getting limited, as we’ve tried most of the medicine that can be tried. I couldn’t and will not accept this.

I am still positively trying essential oils and will be letting her go under “natural therapy”. First is to go for a consultation first, which is soon! Holding my hopes high!

This year, didn’t plan any Birthday celebration for her, but i feel that every birthday for Hazel is worth celebrating, even if it is just us 3. So yes, I am looking at cakes now! *feeling excited*

 

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Hello there!

Whoa~! I’ve been getting so busy and haven’t had the time to update this dear blog of mine. So so so many things are going on right now that 24hrs a day is seriously not enough for me.

The whole of March and April is just so awesome! Busy, yes but am really happy.

For the month of March, I finally hit Silver rank in my Young Living biz. I am so blessed to have an awesome team working alongside with me! And many supportive friends and my family who is helping me to achieve my goal. Without their help and encouragement, I am definitely not able to reach Silver so soon. I love them all!

2014-05-02-00-21-03_decoMy Aroma Complete Set for achieving Silver!

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2014-04-25-13-38-32_decoHazel is so attracted to the colorful labels!

We had our very first family trip in April. We went Taiwan and can I just say I love Taipei?! The food there are so delicious and creative, the people are nice and I love their night market!

It wasn’t easy to travel with Hazel. The flight was torturous as the flight attendant insisted us to put the sleeping Hazel on her own seat before taking off. Hazel cried and fussed when we tried to wake her up and let her sit by herself. When she finally calmed down and the plane took off, she dozed off in her seat and woke up crying. I guess she is feeling very uncomfortable having to sleep in a sitting position. So I have to carry her throughout the flight and have to wake her up again when the plane is landing. -.- Not to mention that the plane is so cold!

She did not get a very good rest, and neither did me nor Hubby. Hazel still gets to nap in her stroller but me and hub were like zombies when we reached Taiwan airport.

Throughout the five days in Taiwan, I find Hazel very poor thing and really makes me have second thoughts whether we should go trip with her again in future, or till she knows how to walk independently. Most of the time she was confined in the stroller when we were out sightseeing, shopping or eating. We do carry her as and when but we cant really carry her for long now. We took turns to carry her and eventually she still ended up in the stroller. Hub was very busy throughout the trip too. He had to get up early to prepare her meds, the milk feeds that needed to bring out for the day, and prepare the water that we need for Hazel’s milk. End of the day when we reached hotel, he had to wash up the bottles, boil water then get to rest. He is so sweet that he did everything and let me sleep a tad later in the morning, and night time just let me rest and he did everything. Really pains me to see him so exhausted after this trip. Both of us, for the first time, couldn’t wait to get back to Singapore.

PhotoGrid_1398960397441Day 1

PhotoGrid_1398960593686Day 2

PhotoGrid_1398960799933Day 3

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It was a tiring trip, but managed to spend some quality time with my family. And that’s what counts. 🙂

Hazel’s Essential Soldiers

Photo 9-3-14 8 58 36 PMThe soldiers that are fighting alongside with Hazel everyday.

Earlier on during dinner, my sis gave a comment, “Hazel is quite strong, seldom see her sick. You have done a good job.”

When I heard what she said, I smiled. And the first thing that came to my mind is my essential oils.

Hazel had started taking medicine when she was just 3 months old and to date, she still is. A 3 months old baby with very high dosages of various seizures medicine, at that point of time, I can’t imagine how much damages the medicine had done to her body. After weaning off one medicine, a new medicine is added on. Even till now when she is turning 3 years old this year, this routine has never changed. All the medicine she is taking or had taken, all has their own side effects. Hazel is not taking them for days, or weeks, we count them in months, or even years for 2-3 kinds of medicine.

Back then, because she was so traumatized from one of the hospital stay, she has been very weary of what goes into her mouth since then. It wasn’t easy to add supplements to her diet to boost her body immune system. Doctor has even advised us not to bring her to crowded places, and family members who are sick to stay away from her. Yes, her immune system was that bad.

Before I was introduced to Essential Oils, Hazel’s health wasn’t good. She vomited almost after every meals. She gets sick and constipated real bad. I still remember we kept on going to the PD or KKH during that period of time.

I have started her on essential oils for almost 13 months. Her immunity gradually gets better over time, she gets more alert and active too. She still gets sick, but only twice over these 13 months, I would say that is a record! I take the credit that I made the effort to oil her day in day out. I take the credit that I am consistent and the effort to oil her at an interval of 20mins when I hear the first sneeze or cough coming from her. I have never slack even when she is well and healthy. And I think my effort did pay off! Even when she was sick, it was manageable with the essential oils, and yes, definitely a paracetemol when the fever hit a high of 39degrees. She will recover in less than a week and I am a happy mom again. Haha.

I applied oils for Hazel in school and public areas. I ever heard comments that “hey what’s that smell?!”, or some negative comments about being crazy to just use essential oils or even drinking them??!! But hey, I don’t really mind because I trust my own eyes and judgement!

People’s comments are just words anyway. 😉 Have faith and go for what you believe in.