Old Memories. New Memories

15-10-27-12-37-56-019_deco

Often, I see many toddlers started learning to stand, and walk eventually because they have the curiosity in them and I wonder, why Hazel doesn’t have?
Often, I see children wanting to eat and try food that they are curious in, and I wonder why Hazel doesn’t do the same?
Often, I see so many normal kids around me and I wonder, when will be Hazel’s turn to be a normal child again?

I met a lady few days ago and we happened to chat. Such a coincidence that her kid also had Shaken Baby Syndrome when he was 5 months old. And the sad thing is, it was also caused by the nanny taking care of him. His condition wasn’t as serious as Hazel, and at 4 years old now, he is running around, talking and almost like any other normal kid. He will be attending kindergarten, and go mainstream primary school, that Hazel does not have the luxury to do so.

Reliving the old memories while chatting with the mom, the days of running to ICU everyday, started crying whenever I walked near the hospital bed, seeing Hazel hooked up with so many wires, not even opening her eyes to look at us, the heartache, the pain, everything came back as if it was just yesterday. She can totally understand what I went through and how I felt, and I felt the sudden relief.

Hazel may not mean anything to the world, but she means the world to us.

I give thanks that she is behaving very naughty now.
I give thanks that she knows how to throw a tantrum.
I give thanks that she is picky in her food and gives us hell lot of work when feeding her.
I give thanks that she is so clingy to us and this shows she knows us.
I give thanks that she is afraid of loud and noisy things that startles her.
I give thanks that she will laugh when we tickles her, or when we make weird sounds beside her ears.
I give thanks that she will cry when she falls while standing or walking that few steps.
I give thanks that she is lazy and how she bend her knees refusing to stand straight to avoid walking.
I give thanks that she knows where I am sitting at and always come crawling to me when I am at my busiest.
I give thanks that she recognizes words like gai gai, milk milk, tu tu, bao bao, as these are her favourites.
I give thanks that she behaves like a baby and seeks that sense of security from us.
I give thanks that she likes me applying essential oils for her, and can lie on her tummy for me to apply that 10 bottles of oils for raindrop on her.
I give thanks that she likes playing with her saliva and my guess is she finds it therapeutic for her. LOL
I give thanks that she will try to balance herself when she is about to fall down while standing, though most of the time she failed to balance. Well at least she tried.
I give thanks that she broke my Aria Diffuser, unhurt, and just sits there waiting for us to clear the glasses.
I give thanks that she always attempts to walk to the TV console and giving me a heart attack everytime.
I give thanks that whenever she starts to flip her arms, it either means she is gonna start walking or wants to be carried.

Other than the frequent fits and spasms she is having everyday that’s challenging us, Hazel is a great joy. The moment she smiles, we smiles.

So what more can I ask for?

We are definitely making much better & sweeter memories with her.

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