Contradicting

Photo 19-1-13 5 17 19 PM

Often I feel that why has GOD gave us a Special Child. I felt so sad about it, filled my whole mind with jealousy and envy parents with normal child. Simple things like pointing to something, reaching out for toys, looking at you when you scold them, all these are things I so much wanted Hazel to be able to do. Yet often, looking at Hazel, I thanked GOD and wonder what have I done to deserve such a sweet and cute little thing in my life?

I realised I complained too much. I wanted Hazel to be like any other normal child, doing things her peers are able to do. But why am I putting so much stress on her and myself? She’s happy in her own little way, in her own little world. She can giggle and laugh just by playing with a pillow. Although she doesn’t know hunger, but when I fed her with milk, she will smile and clap her hands. When she’s full, she will cover her mouth with her hand. She loves to stand and jump even though she is not walking. She can’t see very well but she has a very sharp instinct of who is in the room. She doesn’t know how to reach for things to support herself to stand, but she knows she needs support and always flap her hands indicating that she needs my hands so she can stand up. She likes to lean forward and wait for us to give her a kiss. She loves swinging and had a new found love with swimming. She no longer fuss or cries when we put the neck float. Even after a one week’s break and I’m afraid she’s gonna cry and not want to swim, she proved me wrong and swam for half an hour, in her sleepy state.

Though she’s still having spasm, she has been very active and has recovered from her flu bug pretty fast. My sis even commented that Hazel’s immune system is quite good! With my nephew’s flu virus flying around the house, she has just slight cough, slight sneezing and ran a low grade fever. Her appetite did drop for the first few days, and I nearly admitted her to hospital cuz she’s not drinking. But good thing was we hanged on and she improved! She is so playful and sometimes I was thinking, wow I need to build up my energy!

She has alot of things needed to catch up, but I believe one day she will reach there. Jia you my darling!

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