Such a heavy heart

Recently I’m hooked on this show – Criminal Minds. It is a really good show with every single episode making my heart race so fast. Usually the time I can watch is after Hazel sleeps and I’ve showered and settled everything that needed to be done, then I will watch it on the bed, probably 11pm. When reached some part of the show, I will have to move the tablet abit further away from me, take out my earphone or block my eyes from watching it. I’m timid!

I wonder, I have been facing stress everyday, why am I still watching such shows and not let my heart and mind rest? Haha. Yea.. really. The moment I woke up, it is stress throughout the day. Feeding Hazel is stressful cuz she doesn’t want to drink milk and I have to use every single way I can think of to feed her the milk through syringe. After feeding her, I have to look out and see whether is she gonna vomit. No? Great. Then put her to nap. Then have to look out and see whether is there any spasm when she woke. Then comes the feeding again blah blah blah. This is the daily cycle for me. It is bad to say that Hazel is a time bomb, but she is.

Sadly, she is still having the spasm.

Brought her for a baby swim today and finally we let her try the neck float and she is spinning in the water! It will have to take afew more times for her to adapt to it, cuz she only stays in the neck float for less than 10mins today. She has done really well. πŸ™‚

Her weight dropped again, grown taller and I find her so skinny. Am I complaining too much? Last time when she’s so puffy, I’m worried. Now she lose weight, I’m worried. I miss the time when I could feed her with the bottle. When will her appetite improve???


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